Humanity..

The other day I was at CCC. It was my first time going in a while. I've had CAP and such. I haven't been able to make it like I would like to. That evening we were having a lock in with the other Christian Groups on campus as well as the Gay Alliance. You might ask why we do this.. Honestly, I think it's a good thing. There is such hostility between these groups.. We just need to show them God's love. Anyways, this one girl on staff named Lauren gave a talk on John 8:1-11.


But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."


What an awesome passage. Christ goes and at the end tells her to go. And leave her life of sin. I don't think I can ever look at this passage the same way ever again. It's become one of my favorites. I'm writing it here and on my other blog in an attempt to never forget it. It's beautiful.

After sharing with us that passage Lauren went and talked about her facebook and how she changed it so that it wasn't a facade anymore. Many times we spend so much time on how we look outwardly that we lose our humanity. She talked about a group of girls that she was friends with in college. Three of them were Christians. Another named Christina, was not. And I am not sure if they new it or not. Lauren asked Christina to write us at RIT CCC a letter about their time together. It follows here:


I was nothing like these three girls and I knew it. I wore clothes that were too tight, too low cut, and I had a mouth which I censored around them. I worked hard on my image and that included maintaining a high GPA to go to medical school like my parents had planned. I also partied hard and loved it. This was the main difference between me and them, I thought I loved sinning more than they did.
I thought that hanging out with these Christians was what I needed to learn how to be a good person and then I could move on. After hanging out with these girls for a few months, all I saw was the same superficiality that I got with all of my other crowd of friends. No one was REAL with me. I was open with them somewhat about my sins and my imperfections but these girls could not relate to me nor did they offer up their own struggles. This is how I came to the conclusion that Christians are perfect and if that was what I needed to be to be one of them, I might as well give up now because I was never going to be perfect, not even close.
One moment that I will always remember is sitting with these three girls my sophomore year in college in the cafeteria. I had something on my mind that had been eating away at me for a while now, so I just finally had a moment when I just couldn't take it anymore, and I kind of loudly exclaimed "You guys are perfect, and I could never be like you!" They all stopped what they were doing and looked at me and each other and laughed. This was not the reaction I had been looking for, but one of them finally said, "Were not perfect, not even close to it."
This was a shocking discovery because the first thought in my head was "You all sure act like it." I mean these girls were all so put together and had it all figured out, and that was so not me, so why even bother?
Before this conversation at dinner with these girls, I was ready and willing to walk away from them and not look back, I was exhausted of trying to change myself to be more like them and I WAS DONE. But something or someone stopped me that day. After processing what these girls were telling me, that they were not perfect. They began to share a little of themselves with me and I got some insight into them, WE WERE THE SAME. They didn't consider my sin greater than theirs and their non-judgment kept me there. They also began to say that something was not right with the way they portrayed themselves if an "outsider" like me could only see the facade and not the truth.This was a turning point in our friendship, they promised from now on to be more open and let themselves be vulnerable but that also came with trust and that would take time.
Looking back now, that conversation was a catalyst that lead to my salvation a few months later. It wasn't their perfection that was going to win me over. In the end it was their humanity, all the flaws and imperfections that it encompassed. The abundant grace and non-judgmental environment that they created amongst themselves and let me in on was what finally broke the ice for me.
My advice to you: It does a huge disservice to other "outsiders" looking in, to hide your flaws and vulnerability. Without it perhaps I wouldn't be here.


I think we need to remember this. It's not how good we are, but how deprived we are that brings others to Christ. It's our humanity and showing His unending, all enduring love that brings others to Him. Never forget this. It was this message that Lauren wanted to share with us. I think it's the best message I've heard since coming to college. This was why we had the lock-in with the gay alliance and hopefully. Someone chooses to follow Christ because of our humanity.

Faith?!

I haven't posted anything in a while. It seems that time gets longer and longer between me remembering to post on here. It's not like I don't have any thoughts. I have to many, yet in some ways not enough. I have plenty of thoughts about uncertainties and insecurities... I don't have enough about the right things..

Faith has been something I've struggled with for a while. Now that I'm in college it's in a way even more challenging. Not because of pressure from outside sources, or even being convinced by the enemies arguments. My greatest enemy is my inner me. I get too sidetracked thinking about unknowns and things I have no control of to even focus on my beliefs. I keep a busy schedule, and I'm able to still find time for all things I want to do. Yet, I can't find time for God.. Why is this? What is this struggle? Shouldn't it be simple. Shouldn't I want God more... :/
The hard part is I'm human. The hard part is I don't always or even usually want God. This is something that I think needs to change. I don't know how. But I've got make a turn around. Not only in this area of my life.. But all of it. Everything needs to flip. My priorities need to shift so drastically that I am changed. I can't keep living like this.

Although that this is not as poetic as my earlier posts.. I think it comes to the heart of a matter that we all struggle with. That's giving up our selfishness. I've got a few more things that I can work on too. I'll cover them in later posts. One of which being my pride. I hope that I can at least in this online persona be open enough so that the real me in all of my sin is displayed. As I heard once this past week. We don't win others to Christ by showing how good we are as Christians, but by showing others that we are just as deprived as them.

I notice that this blog has picked up one more follower. I might as well write to keep them entertained.