I've been thinking recently about my life and my goals; what I want to do with myself. I wasn't really sure. I've had such a hard time giving up my dreams in a sense. Or being willing to.. Then a week or so ago it sorta hit me all of a sudden. I wanted to, from that moment on, go into Teen Ministry. I don't know how. I don't know where. I don't even know what age group. But, I want to.. At this point, because of my age I can only do so much for college kids. Even though, I get the feelings that that area might become my focus.. So, I decided to start by asking Lee (the Youth Pastor of my church) if I can work with the youth group there. He responded with a the question of "well what do you want to do?" I told him I don't care. He kinda seemed to doubt me. But thinking about it and my past experiences.. I don't really care. I can help as much as I'm needed as long as it fits into my schedule and my school works out. I really would love to help. I need to fix a few things in my heart in regards to feelings and thoughts, but I have the desire, now I just need to be content with where I am. I also want to talk to Shane about learning guitar from him over the course of this next school year. I don't want to lose track of that either.. Besides that I'm at ease.. I almost want to give up school and just go full into youth ministry's, but that's not really going to work because I already made a commitment. I don't know. God's going to work it all out. I just need to trust him.
Today while I was at work I heard a clip of this song, only 15 seconds worth or so, but it struck me.
"My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me"
It just reminded me of what I'm dealing with in regards to my dreams. I think I need to keep it in mind.
